Finding Balance

As I've discussed several times throughout my blog, my perception of time differs from many of those around me. With over a decade of experience working at a cancer center, I am well aware that the prospect of living a full century, let alone a hundred years of quality life free from physical or mental constraints, is not guaranteed for most of us. While it may sound grim, it's a reality many of us have yet to acknowledge or come to terms with.

Why is this significant?

It may not come as a surprise that most of us are living some aspect of our lives based on the perceptions, standards, or expectations of others. This may include our relationships, career choices, educational paths, material possessions, or our social media content. Many are completely oblivious to the fact that they are under such influence and thus falsely perceive these things as part of their authentic selves. I'm a firm believer that only by acknowledging and accepting our mortality can we truly begin to distinguish between what aligns with our true selves and what does not.

As of late, I have found it extremely challenging to come to terms with this personally. Acknowledging my mortality has given me an immense desire and urgency to accomplish as much as I can while attempting to live my life to the fullest, yet I inevitably burn myself out in these pursuits. Consequently, the pendulum swings to the opposite extreme and I vow to completely let go and simply live in the moment.

Needless to say, striking a balance has proven to be quite difficult, and I have yet to figure it out. However, I have come to a few valuable realizations along the way that I wanted to share with you in hopes that they may provide you with some guidance as you embark on your own journey:

1. Self-reflection is the key to living life the way you want. In this fast-paced world, it's easy to get caught up in the daily grind, forgetting to pause and reflect on the bigger picture of our lives. Failing to do so can lead us astray, as we aimlessly wander through a life that may not be our own. Taking time to intentionally reflect on your life helps you connect to your true self. Schedule time on your calendar, whether it be quarterly, monthly, or weekly, to sit alone and contemplate the following questions. Challenge yourself to be completely honest and vulnerable.

   1. Am I happy? Is this happiness predicated on external factors (e.g. my job title, how much money I make, how others perceive me, etc.) or on internal factors?

   2. If tomorrow I lose all material things (money, house, car, clothing, social media accounts, etc.), who would I be and would I be happy with that?

   3. Do I have people in my life that truly love and care for me? If not, how can I cultivate such relationships?

   4. What does a fulfilling life look like to me? If not, what am I currently pursuing that is taking away from that life?

   5. Are my current pursuits based on my own authentic curiosity/interest or the expectations of others?

   6. Do I feel balanced in all areas of my life, including but not limited to, my physical health, emotional well-being, peer relationships, intimate relationships, spiritual journey, financial situation, career pursuits, and recreational activities? If not, what is 1 action I can take in each area that will help me achieve balance?
      

2. Cultivate and foster your relationships. Neglecting relationships in the past led me to frequently experience feelings of depression and loneliness. To cope, I preoccupied myself with pursuits for additional career training and certifications, which offered only temporary relief. Now, in my late 30s, I am realizing just how vital relationships are to my happiness, well-being, and life satisfaction. Why? Because they compel me to live beyond myself. For years, I solely focused on myself but now understand that fulfillment is found in sharing life's journey with others.
   

3. Prioritize experiences over material things. There is nothing wrong with buying nice things every once in a while, especially if you can afford them. But material things only provide us with a temporary sense of pleasure, which eventually subsides. Experiences expand our minds, contribute to our overall well-being, and lead to a greater sense of life satisfaction and fulfillment.
   

4. Enjoy the moment. While it may sound cliché, life isn't meant to be lived one-dimensionally. Unfortunately, too many of us nowadays "sacrifice" our younger years for a better life in the future. I stumbled upon a great quote recently: "When I was in my 20s, I wanted to be a millionaire. When I was a millionaire, I wanted to be in my 20s." Life is fleeting, and though it may sound grim, tomorrow may never come. A motto I live by is: Plan for the future but enjoy the present moment.

Remember that while each of us is on our own unique life journey, we are all inevitably headed to the same final destination. As you create your unique life path, I urge you to reflect often and strive to achieve balance in all aspects of your life. By doing so, you'll not only enrich your own life but also positively impact those around you.

Taken on a recent trip to Istanbul